Grateful For May Flowers (wrap up)

It has been a while since I have posted on my blog. Life got extremely busy, and I was having problems trying to get "everything" done. So I ended up taking a break from blogging on both of my blogs. I just needed time to process what I was going through and see what I really wanted to do with my time.

I enjoyed blogging, but I tried to write so many new posts for my other blog that I wore myself out. I now have decided that I will do the other blog as a hobby and not go so crazy with it. And, of course, I will continue blogging on this blog because I love it so much.

As you are aware, the month of April was a really hard month for me. I received lots of showers to the point that I felt that I was drowning in all the water. I felt lost and scared until I remembered that April showers bring May flowers. As I started to see the flowers in my life, I realized that I am actually standing in a meadow of flowers!!

Here are some of the May flowers that I got to enjoy (and still enjoying):

• Patrick is potty trained
• Ian sleeps through the night!!!! (Went from getting up 8 times a night in April to 2-3 times in May to 0 times in the summer)
• Broden's mandatory overtime lessened (hasn't had a 70 work week in a very very long time)
• A very successful garden
• Friends and family who showed me tons of love and support

These are the things that happened during the month of May. I wanted to finish writing up on this because it was amazing to see how much I was loved and how much Heavenly Father was looking out for my family especially Ian.

I just love these boys so so much!!

May Flowers - The Power of Fasting

Because Ian has recently been diagnosed with a rare disease, I have worried a lot about my little boy. He is so precious to me, and I want him to have the best life he can. He has Mastocytosis and we are waiting to meet with a Immunology Specialist in order to verify what type it is (click here for a post about Ian's condition).

Ian can get extremely fussy, and he doesn't sleep well. His disease can cause many types of symptoms so we figure this is why he just doesn't feel well and wants to be held constantly. I sure love to cuddle with Ian, but it prevents me from doing practically everything.

On May 4th, Broden and I decided to do a family fast. We contacted our family members and had them spread the word about the fast. We wanted to pray for Ian's health, his condition to improve, and that we can gave guidance on how to take care of our precious little boy.

This picture just makes me smile :)

And, our prayers were answered! Ian now only gets up 2-3 times a night instead of 6-8. There have even been a few nights where I only got up with him once!!! I know that the fasting and prayers helped Ian because it was May 4th when Ian started to sleep better. We also talked with Ian's doctor about giving him probiotics and the doctor said that it would be a great idea. So we have been giving him probiotics which have helped regulate his digestive system. Ian seems happier. He still has his problems and other symptoms, but I'm so grateful that he now sleeps better.

Plus, we were able to get an appointment into Primary Children's Hospital at end of this month!! This is another huge blessing since we were told it would be most likely between July and September. I'm so grateful for all the family members and friends who have prayed and fasted for Ian. I know that fasting helped my little boy.

And, here is a picture of Patrick playing in his cardboard house I made for him. He sure is getting bigger every day. Patrick loves books so you can usually catch him "reading" when he is playing by himself.

May Flowers - Flowers

My last post was about April Showers, and how life has been extremely hard especially with the news of my little boy, Ian, having a rare disease. I concluded my post by writing:

We are praying that these April showers will bring our family May flowers. We sure could use some flowers in our lives right now.

For at least the month of May, I'm going to write about the flowers in my life. I want to see the good in my life, and I know by doing this it will help me see how much God loves me.

On Saturday, the day before Mother's Day, I wasn't in the best mood for many reasons. I was cleaning the kitchen when I noticed a UPS truck pull up. I didn't know what it could be since we haven't purchased anything online. Then I noticed the box the UPS delivery man was carrying. It was a 1-800 Flowers box.

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was to open the box and see these beautiful tulips inside. And, the message enclosed made me tear up: Hope You Have Many More May Flowers!

I don't know who sent these flowers, but I just want to tell you how much I am grateful for them! Thank you for thinking about me and sending some sunshine into my life.

And then later that same day, one of my best friends stopped by to drop off a vase of flowers. I was so touched by her kind act!

Now every time I enter my kitchen, I get to look at these flowers and be reminded about how I am loved and how May flowers do come!

April Showers Bring May Flowers

April was simply a horrible month for me. I went into April feeling like I was barely hanging onto my rope, and April just knocked me off and I hit what I feel like is rock bottom. Broden has been working tons of mandatory overtime so he is rarely home which leaves me to do the housework and yard work. I love doing yard work, but when that is all I'm doing on only a few hours of sleep then I get really burned out. Why am I only getting so little sleep? One word: Ian.

Which leads me into saying why April was such a horrible month. At Ian's 9 month wellness appointment, I asked about Ian's mole like spots. I kept having a feeling that I needed to talk with the doctor about it, and so I did. And that is when I got the news that no mom wants to hear: "Your baby has a rare disease." My heart has hurt for two weeks as I have tried to process the news that Ian has Mastocytosis and the possibility that he could get leukemia or sarcoma. It all makes sense now. It makes sense why Ian has been fussy, uncomfortable, clingy, sleeps very little (gets up every 1-2 hours during the night), and has poor digestive.

What is mastocytosis? Well, let me explain. Mastocytosis is when mast cells start to accumulate in the body's tissues. There are two types: 1) Cutaneous where the mast cells accumulate in the skin, and 2) Systemic where the mast cells accumulate in various tissues of the body. Cutaneous mastocytosis is the better one to have because systemic mastocytosis has more problems and can lead into cancer. Mast cells are part of the immune system and have histamine to regulate allergic reactions.

Ian has mast cells accumulating in his skin so he has lots of "spots" or lesions. When these spots get irritated, rubbed/scratched, the skin becomes red and the spots become like hives. If too many spots get irritated, then Ian can go into anaphylactic shock because all the mast cells mimic an allergic reaction even when no allergen is present. So we now carry an epi pen with us because we don't know when he could have trouble breathing. We don't know if the mast cells are accumulating in other tissues.

Symptoms vary with this disease but here are some: fatigue, nausea, abdominal discomfort/cramping, musculoskeletal pain, flushing, tachycardia, syncope, anaphylaxis, etc. I could go on for a while about this condition, but I feel that this sums it up without getting too technical.

Ian's blood work to check his liver, blood count, and serum tryptase levels came back normal. This is a good sign since it means that it is most likely cutaneous mastocytosis. However, we will still have to do more blood work and skin biopsy once we see an immunology specialist at Primary Children's hospital. We are currently on the cancellation list because it sounds like it might not be until sometime between July and September before we can get into to see the specialist.

So April has brought many showers into my life to the point that I can barely take one day at a time. I was barely doing each day before this news so I have to be honest and say how much I am struggling. I can barely make it through each day.

 I only am writing this post to let everyone know what is going on and so I don't hear "look at those spots" or "what is wrong with his skin". It cuts my heart every time I hear those words because it is a reminder of what my son has to go through. It is a reminder that he is getting more spots each day. It is a reminder that my time with Ian might not be as long as I want it to be. And this is a reminder for everyone to think before you speak and to be considerate.

And so the only thing I have left to do is pray. I pray for Ian that he will be okay. I pray that I can accept whatever happens to him. And the only thing keeping me a float right now is knowing that families are together forever and that no matter what happens I will see Ian again. I am grateful for that knowledge.



I sure love my little boy and I will do everything in my power to give him the best life I can!

Broden and I only ask for your prayers for our little Ian. We are praying that these April showers will bring our family May flowers. We sure could use some flowers in our lives right now.

Bathtime x2

I know I haven't been writing a lot of posts recently. Well, I just have to say that this month has been one nightmarish month for a variety of reasons. I will eventually explain what is going on, but right now I don't feel like talking about it. Anyways, I needed to think of something happy.

A little while ago, I had to give Patrick a bath. Normally, he took his bath when Ian was napping or in bed. But this time, Ian was up. I thought Ian would be okay with Patrick taking a bath. I was SO wrong. He was so mad that he wasn't in the bathtub. He kept trying to climb into the bathtub so I decided that I would let him take a bath with Patrick.

I have to admit that I was worried about how Patrick would react. Patrick simply loved having Ian in the bathtub. And, Ian was SO happy. He kept splashing and kicking, and Patrick joined in the splashing fun. Ian wasn't even phased by water hitting his face. He had a smile on the entire time.

I truly think Ian was made for the water because he never freaked out once with Patrick's splashing. Maybe he will be a swimmer someday.  I'm just glad that Patrick enjoyed playing with Ian. They will be best friends...I know it!

Preschool

My little boy isn't so little anymore. Patrick just started preschool on Monday. I have been doing preschool at home with him, but I was worried about him and got him tested through the school district. It was found he has some delays, nothing major, but there are things to address now so he won't fall further behind. I decided after much thought and prayer that this is the best path to take. I feel that having some trained professionals work with Patrick with his speech will be the right push he needs.

I'm still pretty sensitive about this subject. Its a sore spot for me because I feel like I have failed my son.It is something that I have spent countless hours crying about because I feel like I should have done better and now my son is paying the price. Anyways, I'm trying to not think along those lines anymore but it is a real challenge for me.

I'm so grateful for this free preschool program. It is comforting to know that the area I live in cares about the children enough to provide a lot of services for them. Patrick goes to preschool several days a week for a couple of hours. He even has a bus that picks him up and drops him off. How cool is that?!? He sure loves the bus.

Right now he is a little hesitant to get on the bus because he wants me or Broden to go with him. It is hard seeing him get upset, but I have been told he calms right down and enjoys the ride. And, it seems he enjoys school too.

I will admit that I cried when Patrick left on his first day. It is hard sending my little boy off to preschool. This is the first time we have been apart for so long and so frequently. But, I try to make use of the time he is gone so I feel a little better about the situation.

Enough of me rambling. Here are some cute pictures! Ian enjoyed the sunny weather while we waited for the bus.

Patrick had fun throwing some rocks into some muddy water.

Last few pictures before the bus arrived.

Anyways, Patrick sure loves his backpack! It is blue with trains, trucks, and cars all over it. All of his favorite things are wrapped up in one backpack!

I can't believe how much he has grown. I'm glad that I have been able to share his baby and toddler years with him. Being a stay at home mom is hard, but it is SO worth it. All of the good moments are totally worth the stressful days. I'm so thankful that Broden works so hard for our family so I can be home with the kids.

Stay tuned because I have some way cute posts coming and posts that provide more information about me!

Favorite Things

Well, I have decided to try harder on focusing on the good in my life. I have the tendency to look at the negative, and I don't want to be like that. So this post is being written to help me see all the cute and fun things that my kiddos do. Raising children is hard, but its a lot easier with a good attitude!

Ian's favorite things 

Ian just loves my kitchen aid. He will be in the living room and as soon as he hears me use it, he will come crawling into the kitchen and right up to me. He then will proceed to cry whimper so I will pick him up so he can get a better look at the cool machine. Don't worry, I make sure he doesn't get too close.

The one thing he loves to eat and which drives me crazy is carpet! He will go to the edges of the carpet and pick at it until he gets a piece of it. Plus, he found a place on the wall where the carpet can be pulled off so he kept doing it until I completely removed it. We are in the process of deciding on how we want to update the floor and baseboards.

Ian loves tools! I have another boy who can't stay away from them. I had to get my tool set out to finish a project, and Ian comes up and takes a tool away from me. He was quite pleased with himself and let me hear it when I took it away (again, don't worry since there nothing sharp).

Patrick's favorite things 

Patrick loves being silly. The other day, he grabbed two sippy cups and put both of them in this mouth. I love how he is constantly trying to do new things (even though it can drive me crazy).

Patrick is still obsessed with trains and he plays with his trains every day. He also still likes making anything into trains. His creativity amazes me.

Oh, and I can't forgot to mention how much Patrick loves to paint! He is obsessed with painting especially painting with the color blue. It has been this way for a long time. He even painted his Halloween pumpkin blue.