Prayers Are Answered

This wasn't the post I was planning on writing, but I feel like I need to share the experience I had today. From my previous post, you now know that I have struggled with postpartum depression. I have been feeling extremely well. I do have ups and downs, but overall my down days aren't too bad. However, today was a really bad day.

My mood slowly worsened over the day, and my thoughts grew dark and dismal. I struggled with my patience today because I have been up most of the nights with Ian which lead to me feeling like a terrible mom. And, then those thoughts lead to other ugly thoughts about myself.  Broden was worried about me especially since he had to leave for work and I wasn't feeling any better. Broden is the one that helps me out of my moods and start seeing the positive about myself.

So I was left by myself and my dark thoughts. I tried to distract myself, but nothing worked. It got really bad, and I didn't want to get worse and be depressed for days. I then turned to Heavenly Father. I was hesitant to ask for help because I felt selfish. I felt like I shouldn't be asking for help when so many others I know need His help more. I pleaded with Him to help me because I didn't know what to do and I needed help to dismiss the terrible thoughts I was having. When I ended my prayer, these words entered my mind: Turn the light on and someone will come. I never turn my porch light on night because I try to minimize the amount of electricity that I use. I debated whether or not to do it, and the words entered my mind again. I decided I would have faith, and I turned my porch light on.

A little bit later in the evening, there was a knock. I went to the door and on my doormat was a bouquet of flowers and a note. I broke into tears because my prayer was answered, and I knew that Heavenly Father was telling me that I matter. My stormy clouds blew over and it was because of those flowers.

I am so grateful for prayer and for the love I have felt from Heavenly Father tonight. I am so grateful for that someone who came and rescued me from my troubling thoughts. I know prayers are answered and that everyone's prayers matter to Heavenly Father. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and loves all His children.