The Goal

When the New Year arrives, a lot of people are talking about their goals they plan on doing for the upcoming year. And, I am one of those people. I love making goals and completing them. There is something very satisfying in accomplishing a goal.

As I thought about goals I wanted to do, I came up with several that I really wanted to do. And, then my mind thought of a goal that I didn't even want to think about. Of course, that goal kept resurfacing so frequently that I decided that it is time to face my fear and do it.

Here is my goal: I will no longer demean and degrade myself.

This is my nasty secret. I am my worst critic and I say things to myself that I would never dream of saying to others because it is wrong. So why do I think it is okay to say hurtful things about myself? I honestly have to say that deep done that I know it is wrong, but I have such a habit of doing it and seeing so many others do it that I just take this awful habit as acceptable.

Well, today I am putting my foot down. I know as I go through the course of this year, I will struggle and I will fall. But, I will remind myself why I am doing this. I am doing this so I can truly love myself. I am doing this so my husband no longer has to hear me such cruel things that break his heart. I am doing this so my children do not learn it is acceptable to degrade oneself. I am doing this so I can start to see myself that way my friends, family, and my Heavenly Father sees me.

I was scared of doing this goal because I know it is going to take many failures before I have successes. However, I know as each small victory I gain will mean that I will soon be winning the war of my self worth. I think it is awful how society has trained us to constantly see how we aren't good enough. Well, I am no longer going to listen to those voices. I want to see the real me and not the twisted image in my mind.

Here are some videos that came to my mind while I made this goal my top goal for 2014:

I have to say how much courage this took for me to write this post. It is a little nerve racking, but I wanted to do it so I will totally committed to saying no to my demeaning speech.

Here is to a new year, a new year where I will stop bullying myself and start loving myself.